To say that 2013 was a "horrible" year would be to put a huge disservice to myself and to my body, but for the scales and my weight. It was a "horrible" year. I pretty much stayed the same. I go to T.O.P.S. Which stands for Take Off Pounds Sensibly. I started the year around 199 and gained and lost around 5lbs all year. I ended the year with a weight of around 205 lbs. Great if I had a goal weight of 200lbs, but REALLY?!?
Ok...let me back up some. I, mean, to understand 2013, you have to understand some things. First, I got really serious into competitive running. I do say "competitive" with some tongue in cheek because I did come in last a LOT and I was usually in the bottom third of most races. So, to say I was "competitive" it was mostly with those in the back of the pack. I don't regret that because it was all a learning experience and each race was a lesson in humility and humanity. Every finished proved that I could be more than I could ever be. However, the nutrition for me was a HUGE learning curve. I also found that I retained water every race. It was a blow to my system and I just found that I wanted to eat, eat, eat after every race. I had/have a hard time with the nutrition before and after a race. Then, I started training for a half marathon. I just could not, once again, get my nutrition done pat. I started to try drinking a nutrition shake to see if it would "help" with my goals in racing, nutrition and weight loss. Then, I had the biggest set back of all. I started getting sick. The worst was after drinking the shakes, but it hurt after eating. My energy level fell and I just crashed. Everything was falling apart. When I say everything, I mean, everything. The training, My "attempt" at losing weight. Any "want to" to pay attention to my nutrition just flew out the window. I just didn't care. I had no energy to care. I really put on a good act to those around me, but I just hurt and hurt a lot. I was then diagnosed with Celiac's Disease. What a blow! Now I really, really have to pay attention to what I could and couldn't eat. I started eating junk that was gluten free. YEP! Just because it stated it was gluten free did NOT mean it was good for me and healthy for my body. I craved foods I couldn't have. I was grieving my "old" life, my "old" habits. As a food addict, this was tough. All the foods I ate that I deemed "healthy" were no longer "good" for me. As a food addict, I stuck to a very rigid food schedule. I was thrown into a panic. What to eat? What to do? Going out to eat became tough. Many days I just did not know what to do. Also, I did not know how to fuel before the half marathon. I did not know what to eat the week and day before. I did not know what to do to fuel during the race. It became a frustrating struggle and I beat myself up constantly. There was no good "diet" books that helped me. There were no resources that told me how to eat gluten free and still lose weight while running competitively. What have I become? What has my body done to me? I started to blame all my years of binging on this. I was being punished and punished severely. I could find no peace. All the while the scale stayed the same. THE SAME! Well...Kinda. It went up and down but it was within a few pounds. It never went over 205 and never below 202. FRUSTRATING!!!
So, here I am a few days away from 2014. I had two choices. 1) Keep digging my hole. Keep feeling the frustration of never knowing what it was like to be 'set free.' or 2) Stop digging. Start climbing out.
So, what is the first thing to do? Make resolutions? Nah! Goals. Dreams without goals are just wishes. I have several goals for 2014. The major one for this blog is to lose weight. Now the "power" of goals is they need to be S.M.A.R.T. Specific...Measurable...Attainable...Realistic...Timely.
To say "I want to lose weight" is not "S.M.A.R.T." So, here is my "S.M.A.R.T." goal.
~~I want to lose 60 lbs by December 31, 2014.
Is it Specific? Ummm....yes.
Is it Measurable? Yes. How will I measure it? I will weigh myself at least once a week. My "official" weight will be through T.O.P.S. on Tuesday nights. However, I have also entered Ton of Fun through Fleet Feet which is good because I can "earn" my entry fee back by losing 10% of my body weight by the end of March. That would roughly be 20 ish lbs which would put me on track. Totally doable.
Is it Attainable? Well, I have never, personally, lost 60 lbs in a year. The most I have ever lost in a year is 30. However, I know many people who have lost 60+ lbs in a year. So, yes. It is attainable. It is a little over a lb a week. A person can lose, healthily, 2 lbs a week. So, 60 lbs a year, is attainable.
Is it Realistic? This is probably the hardest the say. Like I have said, the most I have ever lost in a year is 30 lbs. However, in the "real" world, it is realistic. It is totally plausible and doable. If I stick to a great nutrition program and workout. I know it is realistic.
Is it Timely? I am giving myself a year. I am giving myself plenty of time to get my goal in. There is no unrealistic expectations of dropping crazy amounts of weight before the summer hits or even expecting to lose the 60 lbs before the Ton of fun ends at the end of March. So, I feel that giving myself a year is a good time frame.
I am a Type A personality. I can tend to get really down on myself for not achieving my goals. I had a great goal of getting this weight off this year and feel like I really blew it by not getting the 30 lbs off that I wanted to have off by now. I have to look back and see that this year was an anomaly. I will never have to be diagnosed with Celiac's again. I already have. I may run into other "issues" and it's OK. I will have to re-evaluate at that time. However, with the information I have now, this goal is perfect and perfectly attainable. I am ready to go. I have the tools and the knowledge to get it done.
So, when does all the "fun" start? Well, I have been doing a good job keeping track but I don't officially weigh-in for the Ton of Fun till Jan 4th and my first official weigh-in for T.O.P.S is Jan 7th baring any weather or "craziness" on my end.
So, here goes this crazy journey. By the way, I have found peace with my diagnosis, and that has helped A LOT! I do not feel I am missing out (too much) on the foods I can no longer have. I have done a lot of research. I have done a lot of experimenting on what helps with fueling before and after racing. Life has become peaceful with my food and me again. LOL Hopefully, I will be able to upkeep this blog more. Hopefully, I will get "new" starting pictures and "new" clothes that I would like to hopefully fit into as this journey unfolds. Welcome again to my crazy life. As Katy Perry says "Your gonna hear me ROAR!!!"
